How is it that the thing causing us extreme hardship is the thing we cherish most? That’s the story behind my Psalms for Moms devotionals.
When I became pregnant with my youngest, the sky seemed to literally crash down around my head. Every day. For two years.
Every parent experiences the pendulum swing of outrageous joy and consuming fear where their kids are involved. For some it starts when that pink line on the test becomes visible, or when the doctor confirms the suspicion. For others, it starts at birth or potty-training or walking or the first day of school. We rejoice in their success! We take crazy pride in the smallest thing, even when our children didn’t actually do anything. And we sometimes fall headlong into the deepest pit of despair when we recognize the vast treasure we could lose. Regardless of when it happens, we know the beautiful struggle of a new life does not stop when the baby is born. If anything, the struggle intensifies.
As an older mom, my difficulty had several levels. Health risks, finances, time, my short-circuiting brain, and more, all kept me from feeling the exuberant joy of pregnancy. I regret it now, but as I confess the truth I know God causes all things to work together for good for those that love Him. And He has indeed worked exceeding, abundant good in our lives!
Baby A’s pregnancy was a healthy one, but not without common issues. I slept sitting up for most of the nine months because I couldn’t breathe when I laid down. My legs swelled to twice their normal size, which made walking painful and difficult. Contractions started early in my second trimester, but they were not productive. My husband traveled for work, so I felt like a solo parent a lot. Fatigue and depression were constant companions. Fear threatened to take over – and indeed, anxiety had its dark way with me too often. The only relief I felt was in writing my prayers, reminding myself of His truth, confessing belief in His goodness no matter what I felt like.
And Psalms for Moms was conceived.
My goal with this series is two-fold. Honestly, I’m publishing these very intimate writings in an effort to bring my husband home more often. His kids miss him. I miss him. He is uber-gifted and determined in his field of work, but he is also exhausted. So, allowing God to use these psalms to bless my family is one reason, but definitely not the only reason. Maybe not even the biggest reason.
I pray it blesses other moms and helps them know they are not alone. The Creator of the universe sees us in our daily tasks, in our doubts, in our celebrations. He wants to walk beside us as we teach, discipline, and love on the precious little people in our lives. He also gives us each other to encourage and strengthen and enjoy. Our blessings abound!
The story (at least in part) behind my #psalmsformoms is one of joy, sacrifice, hardship, and tremendous love. What would your psalm say?